Chapter 1: My Name Is Sage and I'm the Shoelace Master

I Sage Inoue have been reincarnated into another world.

Sounds great, right? Being part of an isekai is everyone’s dream, right?

Well sure, that might be the case for someone who is reincarnated with a cheat title like Hero or Saint, but not for someone like me.

If you’ve ever read an isekai novel before, you know the drill. A guy or girl is summoned/reincarnated into a different world. They receive the title of Hero or Saint and proceed to save the world from imminent destruction, often times defeating the Demon King in the process. Along with their overpowered titles, they receive cheat skills which give them access to vast amounts of magic and sword techniques, allowing them to defeat even the toughest opponents with ease.

Unfortunately, at least in my case, reality is crappier than fiction. Instead of being blessed with a cheat title and the skills that go along with it, when I was reincarnated I received a title so horrendously bad it could be considered the opposite of a cheat.

A trash skill. Complete and utter trash.

But, before I bore you with more of my complaining let me properly introduce myself.

My name is Sage Inoue. Technically, in this world my real name is just Sage, but since my last name in my previous life was Inoue, in my head I like to refer to myself as Sage Inoue.

What else. Oh right, yesterday was my sixteenth birthday, which means that now I am officially an adult.

Don’t ask me why sixteen is the age of majority in this world. That’s just the way it is.

In my previous life, becoming an adult was a happy occasion. After all, when you became an adult new doorways opened up for you.

When you turned 21 you could drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, and… um… I can’t really think of anything else.

Wait, now that I think about it don’t all of the perks you receive when you become an adult basically involve slowly poisoning yourself in interesting and pleasurable ways? I supposed you also get to pay taxes and stuff. And, I guess you don’t have to listen to your parents anymore. But, you still have to listen to the government, your boss, your partner, your…

Actually, maybe becoming an adult sucks.

Anyway, where I live, turning sixteen gives you the opportunity to do all of that and much more. Much more, meaning basically whatever you want.

Here, life is short, so people try to get as much as they can out of the time they’re given.

There are laws of course, but in many ways it’s a lot more lax than the old US of A where I used to live.

I mean, killing and stuff is against the law, but it’s often hard to prove and in a world where death is an ever present possibility, murder often goes undetected. As for laws governing other types of crimes, the creation and enforcement of those comes down to whoever is in charge at the time. Most of the time enforcement is lax, and oftentimes, the people who are supposed to be enforcing the laws are the ones committing the crimes in the first place.

Now, let me give you a rundown on my current situation.

Up until I turned sixteen, I lived in an orphanage. However, now that I’m considered an adult they kicked me out.

I don’t have hard feelings. Well, not too many at least.

That’s just the way things work in this world and there’s nothing I can do about it.

As to who my parents were. No one really knows.

I mean, obviously I had parents at some point, otherwise I wouldn’t be alive in the first place. But their identities and race remain a mystery.

Since this is a fantasy world, humans aren’t the only race. In addition to humans, there are elves, dwarves, beastfolk, and of course demons.

All of these races can procreate with one another making it impossible to tell what race my parents were. While I look human on the outside, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I only have human blood running through my veins. In fact, it’s almost guaranteed that at least a portion of my blood is from a different race.

Throughout the years, I’ve fantasized about who my parents might have been. At first my fantasies were pretty tame.
I dreamed that my parents were blacksmiths or woodcutters.

However, when I regained the memories from my previous life, my fantasies went off the rails. I dreamt that I was the illegitimate child of a high ranking noble or even the secret love child of the Emperor himself.

What? I’m delusional? I mean, probably. But a guy can dream, right?

So, I’m a sixteen year old orphan who is most likely the Emperor’s son. Did I miss anything? Let’s see.

Oh. I forgot to tell you how I was reincarnated.

While I don’t remember much about what happened after I died, I absolutely remember how I died. In fact, it was pretty much a textbook isekai death.

I was crossing the street, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I ran into a wild truck-kun. Well, I didn’t run into truck-kun, he ran into me, but that’s beside the point.

Just to be clear, it wasn’t my fault. I had the right of way. The walk sign was on and I looked both ways before crossing.

I mean, I did go back to watching anime on my phone immediately afterwards, but that’s beside the point.

I couldn’t stop myself. The story was too exciting.

Unfortunately, at the exact moment the villain’s identity was revealed, I died, which means I never learned who the villain was.

I mean, it was pretty obvious who it was, but not knowing for sure bugs me to this day. Oh well. As they say, it’s all water under the boat.

I was lucky. Instead of being born with all of the memories from my previous life intact, I didn’t remember them until a couple years ago. It would have been rough having a teenager’s mind in a babies body, so I’m thankful I didn’t receive my memories until later.

I remembered my previous life while I was in the process of being trampled to death by a horse. I was running an errand for the orphanage’s director, when someone pushed me into the path of an ongoing carriage.

Luckily I received prompt medical treatment, so I didn’t end up getting reincarnated again, but even to this day I am extremely wary horses.

After I unlocked the memories of my previous life, well… nothing change. I was still little orphan Sage living in an orphanage, waiting to become an adult so I could get a job and pay taxes.

However, remembering all of the isekai books I read got me fantasizing about all of the cheat skills I would receive at the Measuring Ceremony when I turned 15.

Today, just thinking about all of my delusional fantasies makes me cringe. But what can I say, I was young and foolish, unaware of the harshness of reality.

Speaking of the measuring ceremony. It’s a big deal. A really big deal.

In the Empire, the day of the measuring ceremony is a national holiday. Everything is shutdown, businesses, inns, restaurants, even the Adventurer Guild. And everyone who can walk, attends the festivities.

When I say everyone, I really do mean everyone. Commoners from the slums. Merchants from the countryside. Nobles, royalty, even the Emperor himself attends. The Measuring Ceremony is such a big deal that every single person over the age of 5 knows what it is.

The majority of the people who attend the event are there for the entertainment. Performances by famous bards and poets, skits, plays. There’s even a combat tournament where the Empire’s strongest fighters face off against each other in heated battles. And to top it all off, all food and drink served during the festivities is provided free of charge, courtesy of the Emperor and the royal family’s deep pockets.

However, there is a dark side to the measuring ceremony. While the commoners are enjoying the festivities, the merchants and nobles wage battle with each other over the lives of the 15 year olds in attendance. Their objective, to make contracts with as many powerful individuals as they can before their rivals snap them up.

You see, titles like hero and saint do exist in this world, and just like in most isekai novels, they are completely broken and overpowered.

However, no one knows what title a child will receive until the measuring ceremony, and the title a child receives is not determined by social status. In other words, it is just as common for a noble to receive the coveted title of saint as a commoner.

But unlike nobles, who are destined to serve the family they were born into until they die, commoners have no such obligation. This means that the fighting over commoners who receive powerful titles is particularly vicious.

The squabbling that goes on behind the scenes is no secret. In fact, it’s such a well known fact that commoners who receive powerful titles are affectionately labeled as Victims by everyone else.

Since I was reincarnated into another world, I figured I’d receive a powerful cheat title at the Measuring Ceremony. I was hoping for Hero or Sage, which would allow me to become wealthy and famous overnight, but I would have happily settled for Saint, Knight, or even Warrior.

Heck, now that I think about it, any title would would have been better than the title I received. Even a title like Sewer Cleaner or Monster Processor would have provided me with a stable if not disgusting future.

So why of all the infinite possible titles available to the goddess did I have to receive this particular one.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why did I get burdened with the title: Shoelace Master.

Yes. You heard that right.

Shoelace Master.

I received the title Shoelace Master, along with the distinction of being the first and probably only person in the history of this world to have that particular title.

Yay.

Whoopee.

I’m so incredibly happy, I could cry.

Because in this world, having a useful title is everything.

It determine your future prospects. Your social status. What you do for a living. Your potential romantic partners. Your average life expectancy.

That’s right. Having a quality title can be the difference between life and death.

When you have a quality title, a myriad of potential career paths open up to you. You can join a noble family and serve them, while living in the lap of luxury. You can open a shop, become a traveling merchant, a civil servant, a blacksmith, a restaurant owner, depending the title you receive the options are endless.

However, if you receive a title that is useless you are left with one of two options. You can live on the streets as a beggar until you die from exposure and disease.
Or, you can become an adventurer and die on the front lines fighting monsters.

The choice is yours, but unfortunately neither one involves living a long and fruitful life.

And Shoelace Master is considered to be a useless title in this world, which means that no matter what option I choose, death awaits me.

Great.

Awesome.

I don’t want to die.

However, that’s not to say that everyone who becomes an adventurer dies.

There are two types of adventurers.

The first type are the strong, or people with strong titles that want to make a name for themselves without serving as a pawn for a noble. These people generally hold combat focused titles like warrior, knight, or mage, and if they survive, have a good chance of becoming rich and famous enough to squabble over “victims” at a future Measuring Ceremony.

The second type are the weak, or people with titles that society has no use for. These people generally die within several months of signing up as an adventurer.

I’m a member of the second category.

Lucky me.

I guess some part of my mind wasn’t entirely convinced that I would receive a overpowered title because immediately after learning what my title was I came to a decision. I wouldn’t become a beggar and die on the streets. I would become an adventurer and go down swinging.

I would prefer to experience more swinging and less going down, but I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

Oh, and in case didn’t believe me when I said that the title Shoelace Master is utter garbage, let me explain to you what it does.

After the Measuring Ceremony, all of the “victims” received a paper copy of their title and skills. Mine reads as follows:

Shoelace Master

The one who possesses this title is a master of all things shoelace.

A shoelace connoisseur. This person loves and respects shoelaces on a level unlike any other.

Skills

Quick Tie: Allows the holder of Shoelace Master to tie any pair of shoelaces instantly. The knots tied using this skill can only be undone by the holder of Shoelace Master and will never come undone on their own.

So, yeah. Now I tie my shoes instantly and never have to worry about them coming undone.

Big whoop.

And the description of Shoelace Master was read out loud to everyone who attended the measuring ceremony, so now whenever I walk down the street people, point at me and say, “Hey, isn’t that guy the one who’s really into shoelaces? Maybe he wants to tie the knot with one and become a pair.” Then of course, they fall to the ground laughing.

Hahaha.

Very punny.

Very punny indeed.

I don’t actually have some sort of weird shoelace fetish, alright? It just so happens that I have a pair of lucky shoelaces I received as a birthday present from my childhood friend, who at the time was living at the same orphanage. A few months later, she was adopted by a family from a different city and I never saw her again. So, I’ve been using them ever since.

Ok, that was 11 years ago, but time is irrelevant.

It’s the shoelaces fault. They’re unnaturally sturdy. Even though I use them everyday, they never seem to fray or become damaged.

That’s the only reason I’m still using them. There’s no sense in getting rid of something that isn’t broken.

It isn’t like remove them from my shoes and care for them every single day. I just do that once a week. See, I’m totally normal.

Get it? Got it? Good.

Moving on.

I’m off to the adventurer guild to sign my death warra– I mean to fight monsters. Wish me luck, because I’m definitely going to need it.