Chapter 24: No Way!

I sprint through the forest, focusing on the ground in front of me. As I run, I strain my ears, listening for any sounds of pursuit.

After an hour of this, I hang a left and start searching for a trail.

Thanks to Samantha’s training, this amount of exertion doesn’t phase me one bit. In fact, even after running for two hours, I’m not even the least bit winded.

Eventually, I stumble upon a familiar trail, the one I was planning to hike up for my quest. I lean my back up against the trunk of a tree and let myself sink to the ground.

I’m filthy, I stink, and I’m covered in garbage, but at least I’m alive.

What happened? How did I escape?

I got lucky. Really, lucky.

Remember the rope they used to tie me up? The rope Crew Cut fished out of my bag?

Well, thankfully the universal aglets were still attached, so it was easy for me to use my skill to untie it.

Why didn’t I untie it earlier?

I’d like to say that I was waiting for the perfect moment to strike, but in reality, untying it didn’t even cross my mind.

Everything that happened after that was Crew Cut’s fault. If he hadn’t tried to make me lick his shoes, I never would have escaped.

He stepped in it, figuratively and literally.

After tossing garbage in his face, I used my skill three times in quick succession. Twice to untie each of his shoes, and once to tie his laces together.

Once that was done, I repeated the process for each of the other thugs, then I made my escape into the forest.

Of course, you can imagine what happened when they tried to chase me.

Those satisfying splats? I’d like to imagine it was each of them getting a face full of garbage.

Stupid. Useless. Title. Isn’t that what Crew Cut said?

Well, I don’t disagree with his assessment of my title, but after this experience, I’m starting to believe that it might not be as hopeless as I first imagined. Sure, my title is garbage tier, in this case literally, but maybe with a little ingenuity, I can figure out how to make it work for me.

However, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself.

Most of this was due to Crew Cut’s stupidity. I mean, what kind of villain asks someone to lick their shoes? Only Crew cut would be stupid enough to do something like that.

A smart villain would have killed me without a word. He would have silently buried me in the trash and set it on fire.

If Crew Cut hadn’t decided to vent all his grievances to me, I would already be dead.

No, let’s not think about that. It’s way too scary.

I spend most of the day sitting under the tree. Partly because I’m still in a lot of pain, and partly because I’m too scared to go back to the Guild. Thankfully, the day is warm, otherwise I might have died of frostbite or hypothermia.

As the sun begins to set, I drag myself to my feet and start down the trail back to the Guild.

The hike back is excruciating. I find myself constantly glancing over my shoulder and jumping at the slightest sound. I’m sure that at any moment Crew Cut and his gang are going to pop out of the woods and ambush me.

Thankfully, I don’t run into any other adventurers, but by the time I make it back to the Guild, my nerves are frayed and I’m thoroughly exhausted. The whole ordeal was like watching a horror movie, except, instead of sitting in the audience, I was playing the lead role.

When I arrive at the Guild, the lobby is in an uproar. Everyone is clustered near the back of the room, gawking at something.

As I approach to see what’s going on, the crowd parts for a moment and I catch a glimpse into the center of the group. Sitting on a couch surrounded by a handful of armed Adventurers are Crew Cut and his thugs, trussed up like chickens.

Someone places their hand on my shoulder, and I jump several meters into the air.

“Oh, sorry,” Samantha says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Oh Goddess,” she says, when she sees my face. “We need to get you healed.”

After Chloe heals my wounds, I take a shower and head to practice room eight.

By the time I arrive, the room is already packed. Samantha, Chloe, and several other guild advisers stand in a group facing Crew Cut and his gang who are sitting propped up against the wall.

I’ve been at this branch for almost four weeks, so I recognize most of the Guild Advisers. However, I don’t recognize the woman standing next to Samantha, even though she seems oddly familiar.

In addition to the Guild Advisers, more than two dozen adventurers are spread throughout the room. For a moment I wonder why, then I spot my bag on the floor at Samantha’s feet.

When they captured me, Crew Cut took my bag and threw it into the dump. Whoever captured them, must have retrieved it.

“What’s going on?” I ask, coming up behind Samantha.

“We’re waiting for the Empire’s Soldiers to arrive.

“By the way,” she says, gesturing towards my bag, “I think this is yours, right?”

I nod.

“Go ahead and go through it to make sure everything is there.” I sit down and do as she says.

Amazingly, all of my belongings are still there. My Guild Card, silver, rope, even my custom mithril aglets, which I thought might be lost forever.

“It’s all here,” I say.

“Good, that’s all I needed to know.”

While we wait for the soldiers to arrive, I take a better look at Crew Cut and his gang.

For some reason, half of them aren’t wearing shoes, and the other half have shoes without laces. Upon closer inspection, not only do they not have laces, but the eyelets on their shoes are slashed.

I knew that due to my skill they wouldn’t be able to untie their shoelaces, but did they have to cut their shoes to remove them?

Couldn’t they just cut the laces, or am I missing something? I guess I have more experimenting to do.

The door to practice room eight slams open and a dozen of the Empire’s Soldiers march inside. They march directly over to Crew Cut and his gang and drag them out of the room.

“You’ll regret this,” Crew Cut shouts over his shoulder before the door slams shut, “None of this is my fault.”

“Yeah, right,” Samantha mutters under her breath. “I should have put a stop to him a long time ago.”

Once the soldiers leave, Samantha addresses the adventurers in the room.

“If we need your testimony, you’ll get a notification within the next week or so. Until then, avoid taking any quests that will take you outside of the area.”

The adventurers nod.

“Good,” Samantha says. “You’re free to go. The Guild will try its best to recover what they stole from you.”

The adventurers file out of the room, leaving me alone with Samantha and the Guild Advisers.

“Thank you for your help,” Samantha says. “Go ahead and return to your posts.”

“What about me?” the Guild Adviser who I don’t recognize asks.

“You’re coming with me to the party tonight. I want to introduce you to everyone before tomorrow’s lecture.”

The Guild Adviser leaves and Samantha addresses me. “Since the three of you survived the first half of bootcamp, we’re going to throw a celebration party. “We’ll meet in the Guild’s restaurant in an hour. Make sure you’re there.”

Dressed in my best tunic and trousers, the ones not covered in garbage, I make my way to the Guild’s restaurant. When I arrive, I see Samantha waving at me from a table near the stage.

I take my place at the last remaining seat and scan the table.

Bridget sits on my right and Samantha on my left. Next to Samantha sit Chloe and Denise.
Beyond them is Wolf and the unknown Guild Adviser.

As usual, Samantha and Chloe are dressed in luxurious dresses. Samantha is wearing a deep blue strapless ball gown with tiger lilies embroidered in mithril on the bodice, and Chloe is wearing a forest green halter top with accents of gold.

Thankfully, tonight I’m not the only one dressed in a tunic and trousers.

In addition to Bridget and Wolf, who are dressed in their finest threads, the unknown Guild Adviser is rocking a tunic and trousers as well. However, in addition to her clothes, she is also wearing a cape with a coat of arms embroidered on it in mithril thread.

The coat of arms is a kite shield with a bird of prey in the center. The bird has its wings spread wide and is holding a sword clutched in its talons.

I’m no expert on coats of arms, so I have no idea whose house it belongs to. However, it definitely looks familiar. In fact, I know I’ve seen it before.

I know, I’m acting like one of those protagonists who can’t remember important facts because it’s convenient for the author.

Well, I’m sorry. I’ve been too busy surviving for the last sixteen years, so I didn’t have the chance to study nobility.

The Guild Adviser appears to be studying me intently, her blue eyes piercing into my soul. I want to ask her why she’s so interested in me, but Samantha begins to speak.

“Congratulations on making it through the first half of bootcamp. You’ve done well, but don’t get complacent. We are just getting started.”

The words “we are just getting started,” send a shiver down my spine. If I know Samantha even a little bit, from her “we are just getting started” is code for “things are going to get a lot harder.”

“As promised, tonight I’d like to introduce a special guest. Her name is–”

“No Money,” shouts a voice from the stage.

The lights in the restaurant wink out, and the curtains rise. Spotlights click on, and No Money and his band appear wearing bright red velvet capes and carrying gold plated instruments.

“Welcome,” No Money shouts into the amplifier MSPD. “I hope you’re having a wonderful evening.”

As usual, the crowd goes wild.

“Tonight, we decided to rebrand ourselves yet again.”

Cheers.

“Yes, I know. For some of you, this is probably getting old.

“But, what can I say? You can’t shackle creativity. In order to truly live, you have to step outside your comfort zone.”

More cheers.

“Tonight, you may refer to us as Righteous Victory. A band who is here to tell the stories of heroes who have prevailed against all odds.”

No Money introduces his band members, then introduces the band’s first song.

“Our first song is called, ‘Cologne Monster versus Shoelace Master,’ and you’re in for a real treat. We’ve only practiced this song once, because I wrote it five minutes before the show. But, I believe this story is worth telling, so please bear with it.

“Are you ready?”

The audience cheers.

“Here we go.”

Broken Mirror counts the band in, and the song starts.

It’s an upbeat song, reminiscent of an anime opening, but to me, since I’m the one featured in it, the lyrics seem super cringe.

Cologne Monster versus Shoelace Master.
The ultimate fight.
One is strong, the other is weak, but they’re both here to rumble tonight.

Cologne Monster is muscled, tall, and strong.
The ideal man.
If he wasn’t covered with disgusting scents, all the ladies would line up for him.

With a single punch, Shoelace Man goes down.
Writhing on the ground.
This fight looks over, but it isn’t yet, Shoelace Master still isn’t dead.

Shoelace Man rises up from the ground.
Arms across his chest.
With a mighty roar, he rushes forward, driving his fist into Cologne Monster’s chin.

A fight to the death, where only one man wins.
A struggle filled with blood and gore, a place where new heroes are born.

A fight to the death, where only one man wins.
Who will emerge victorious and who will leave inside a coffin.

One punch, one more, Cologne Monster falls.
Lifeless to the ground.
The crowd cheers, they buy more beers, the Shoelace Master has won.

Thus came the end of Cologne Monster Man.
Ending in defeat.
Many folk were pleased to see him go, a troubled man who offended people’s noses.

A fight to the death, where only one man wins.
A struggle filled with blood and gore, a place where new heroes are born.

A fight to the death, where only one man wins.
Who will emerge victorious, and who will leave inside a coffin.

The song ends and the waiters bring out the food. Righteous Victory, or whatever they’re called, launches into some background music, and our conversation resumes.

“That’s not what really happened, right?” Bridget asks.

“No,” I say. “It was nothing like that.”

“Okay, I didn’t think so, but I wasn’t sure.”

“Anyway,” Samantha says, “As I was saying earlier, I would like to introduce you to our special guest. This is Genevieve, she’s a Guild Adviser here at the Adventurer Guild and she’ll be holding a weapon handling workshop for the three of you tomorrow.”

Wait, did she say Genevieve? She did, right?

No way, is that actually her? No wonder she looks so familiar.

She’s taller and prettier, but I can definitely see some resemblance.

No, I could be mistaken. Genevieve was adopted by some nobles, there’s no way she’d be working at the Adventurer Guild. Plus, she was adopted when we were both super young. I’m probably misremembering.

Genevieve gives the three of us a wave.

“Let me introduce everyone else,” Samantha says. “You already know me, Chloe, and Denise. That one sitting over there is Wolf, over there is Bridget, and next to me is Sage.”

Genevieve turns and stares at me. “Did you grow up in an orphanage?” she asks.

“Yeah,” I say, “and you got adopted when you were super young, right?”

Genevieve vaults over the table and wraps me up in a hug, sending my chair over backwards and the two of us down onto the floor. Thankfully, she covers the back of my head with her hand, otherwise I’m sure I would have gotten a concussion.

“I finally found you,” Genevieve says, still hugging me. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I didn’t know your name and no one would tell me which orphanage I grew up in, so I decided to become a Guild Adviser in order to find you.”

She didn’t know my name? Now that I think about it, when we were younger, she never did refer to me by my name.

Somehow, even though she didn’t use my name, I always knew when she was talking to me.

“Come on,” Samantha says, prying Genevieve off of me. “Take a seat. Everyone is watching.”

It’s true, everyone in the restaurant is peering over at our table, and even the musicians of Righteous Victory have stopped playing and are staring down at us.

“That’s all folks,” Samantha says. “Sorry about the interruption.”

Face hot, I set my chair upright and sink down into it as low as I can go, trying as hard as I can to make myself invisible.

“As I was going to say,” Samantha says. “Tomorrow, Genevieve will be holding a workshop for the three of you. She’s a real life inspiration story. Someone who took a title that most believed was unsuitable for combat and became one of the strongest adventurers in the Empire. Make sure you pay attention and learn as much as you can from her while she’s here.”

“Actually,” Genevieve says. “I won’t be doing the workshop tomorrow.”

“Why not?” Samantha asks.

“Because, I quit.”

Samantha stares at Genevieve, mouth hanging open in disbelief.

“You what?”

“I quit.”

“No, you can’t quit.”

“Why not?”

“I– No, the Adventurer Guild needs you. You’re the best all around weapon instructor we have.”

“So?”

“I mean, you practically begged me for the job, why would you quit now?”

“I took the job so I could find Sage. Now that I’ve found him, I don’t need it anymore.”

“What about the money? How are you going to live?”

“Didn’t you do any digging into my background before you hired me?”

“We tried, but none of our checks came up with anything.”

Ignoring Samantha, Genevieve leans across the table and addresses me in a loud whisper. “Do you remember our promise?”

Promise? What promise?

Oh, no. Is this one of those romcom situations where she’ll get super mad if I don’t remember.

“I–”

“It’s okay if you don’t remember,” Genevieve says. When we were younger, we promised each other that we’d both become adventurers and form a party together when we grew up.”

Right, I remember. Back then, the orphanage was in dire straits, and we believed that we could help it by becoming adventurers.

Unfortunately, the day after we made the promise, Genevieve was adopted, which is probably why I forgot.

“Now do you remember?”

“Yes.”

“So, you’ll join my party, right?”

“Um.”

“Don’t worry, Bridget can join too.”

I glance over at Bridget. She nods.

“Great,” Genevieve says, without waiting for my answer. “As you can see, I will be partying up with Sage and Bridget.”

“Hold on,” I say, “I need to finish bootcamp first.”

“Sure, if you really want to, but you don’t have to. I’ve been an adventurer for almost a year now, so I can teach you everything you need to know.

“No, I’ll join you after I finish bootcamp.”

“Fine,” Genevieve says. “In that case, let me join bootcamp too.”

“No,” Samantha says, “This course is for new adventurers only.”

“Aww, you can’t make an exception?”

“I’ll make an exception if you agree to my terms.”

“Sure, what are the terms?”

“First, you’ll continue teaching workshops.” When Genevieve makes a face, Samantha hurriedly continues on. “Don’t worry, I’ll only make you teach two of them per month, and both of them will take place in the Capital City. Does that sound good?”

“Alright. Anything else?”

“Second, you’ll stay on the Guild’s payroll as an Honorary Guild Adviser. You won’t have to work as a Guild Adviser on a day to day basis, but during emergencies I want to be able to call on you for assistance.”

“Okay, you have a deal.”

“One more thing. You have to teach the weapon handling workshop tomorrow.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

The two of them shake hands.

“Great, now that that’s out of the way, let me introduce myself. My name is Genevieve Empire, and just for tomorrow, I will be your weapons instructor.”